Work

Wow, it has been a really long time since I have posted. I have had alot change in the last few months.

I have started a new Job!!!! I really like it so far. I am working at Children’s Hospital. I am working a crazy shirf of 7:00pm to 7:30am. It is taking a little bit to get used to, but I am surviving. I worked like 72 hours last week. So I am really tired.  I absolutly love working with the kidos though (parents I could live without). They can be so cute.

So Last week I had a marriage proposal….yes I said proposal:) Let me just tell you the story.I walked into this hospital room with a 16 year old boy with down syndrome, and the first thing he said was…look a sexy lady, and I smiled and asked him how he was doing and he said fine now that your here. So I proceeded to work with him the rest of the night and each time I walked in he kept telling me how pretty I was and I had nice eyes, and nice hands. This little guy was a heartbreaker let me tell you. At one point when I walked in the room he said mom look she is a sexy white lady. What can you say, so I just smiled and continued. However that wasnt good enough for William. He said “are you married” and I said no. He said “do you want to get married?” and I said “yes someday” and he looked at me and said “you marry me next week!” and I said “I dont have a ring” so he just looked at me and didnt say anything else. So I left the room. About 45 minutes later I was called to the nurses station and they told me William was looking for me, so I went to his room and he looked at me and handed me a ring made of tape. Let me tell you this kido was so cute. SO I took it and as I was walking out the door, William says, “nice ass” and I turned around and his mom was yelling at him, and with a straight face he said “mom, I said nice eyes”. SO I left the room and I told william Bye because he was getting sent upstairs. So later that night we were all discussing how William had just made our night. And one of the docs said “ya well I bet none of you got a marriage proposal” and four of us all said at the same time “so did I”. It was so funny, (but I was the only one with the ring). So William definatly made an impression on my heart. He loved people no matter what there race color or religion. I learned that night, we shouldnt see people for what they look like. He didnt have anything to offer but a smile and love and thats what he did. I want to learn to be more like that. Not seeing all the bad in the world but only seeing the good.

 I have come to realize I cant continue to do it all. I have no life. Something is going to have to give. I mean three jobs is to much. I used to think I could do it all, but I have found out I cant. I guess I am a wimp. So now I have to decide what to give up and how. I am so attached to everything I do.

 Well, I am going to get back to work.

Bad Day

So today has just been terrible.  So I had to work all day at the firehouse and at the coffee shop and then at 5pm to 5am at Jems. So basically I was working for 20 hours straight. So the morning started off I woke us late, and I forgot half my stuff at home. So on my lunch break I decided to go get my stuff I forgot. So I get almost home and I see a Sherrif sitting by my golden retriever(Lilly) and so I pull up behind him and get out of the car. I see Lilly isn moving alot and I know instantly that she has been hit. I tell the officer she is my dog. He says she was hit and I am like I can see that. but anyway she is bleeding from her mouth and I know she isnt doing well. So I get on my phone and I am trying to get ahold of my mother and brother and no one is answering, and I am crying and I was a mess. SO FINNALLY I get in touch with mom and Aaron.  SO the man from the house that she was in his driveway comes out and starts yelling at me saying we dont take care of our dog and we are a horrible family….so now I am just pissed. I stan up, and the cop is still there, and i tell him to get out of my face this is none of his concern, and he proceeds to bad mouth me and we get into a screaming match and I am just furious at this point. So the officer tells him he shoulod mind his own F***ing buisness and go back into his house and he decides he wants to argue with the cop, and the cop says, he didnt give him permission to speak and he really should just go back inside if he doesnt want to be on the officers bad side. SO FINALLY, my mom and dad get there and we pick her up and put her in the back of my van and take her to the animal hospital. I dont go because I cant deal with sick animals. Its funny I can work on sick people but not animals. When its and animal all I do is cry. Anyway, we are more than likely going to have to have her put to sleep tomorrow and i am so sad.

I know I rambled on and on but it was a bad day.

Job

So last Wednesday I found out I got hired for a new job. I thought I would be totally excited, but when I found out I just started crying….and no, they were not tears of joy.  I couldnt figure out why I was so upset. I mean I will be making 2 1/2 times what I am making now, I will have full insurance benifits and all that jazz. I mean this is a no brainer right.

 So I was upset all morning. I kept thinking to myself, you have worked hard for this job, and now you got it, and your thinking about not taking it. What the hell is the matter with you.  So I ended up accepting the job. I am still not sure I am really happy about it,  but its an offer I cant refuse.

I dont like change is my problem, any kind of change. I attach very easily and I dont like to unattach. So I think that is my problem. I am going to have to give up things I am attached to.

Saying NO

So I have come to the conclusion I can’t say the word No to anyone. Even when I really want to say the word no, it never comes out as the actual word no, it comes out as sure I can or yes I would love to.  For example: Can you cover my shift?, Can you work late,  Can you come in early, can we trade days,  Oh ya I planned this and you need to be here by this time. 

I know I do it to myself because I just don’t say no. But how does one obtain the word no in there vocabulary. I have been programed to say Yes.  So frustrating.

First Time

So  this is my first blog. My friend Jess says it is very Therapeutic. I guess I will try it and see how it goes.  Excuse me if I misspell any words…and you can tell me if I do, but I really dont care because thats who I am.

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