Job

So last Wednesday I found out I got hired for a new job. I thought I would be totally excited, but when I found out I just started crying….and no, they were not tears of joy.  I couldnt figure out why I was so upset. I mean I will be making 2 1/2 times what I am making now, I will have full insurance benifits and all that jazz. I mean this is a no brainer right.

 So I was upset all morning. I kept thinking to myself, you have worked hard for this job, and now you got it, and your thinking about not taking it. What the hell is the matter with you.  So I ended up accepting the job. I am still not sure I am really happy about it,  but its an offer I cant refuse.

I dont like change is my problem, any kind of change. I attach very easily and I dont like to unattach. So I think that is my problem. I am going to have to give up things I am attached to.

Saying NO

So I have come to the conclusion I can’t say the word No to anyone. Even when I really want to say the word no, it never comes out as the actual word no, it comes out as sure I can or yes I would love to.  For example: Can you cover my shift?, Can you work late,  Can you come in early, can we trade days,  Oh ya I planned this and you need to be here by this time. 

I know I do it to myself because I just don’t say no. But how does one obtain the word no in there vocabulary. I have been programed to say Yes.  So frustrating.

First Time

So  this is my first blog. My friend Jess says it is very Therapeutic. I guess I will try it and see how it goes.  Excuse me if I misspell any words…and you can tell me if I do, but I really dont care because thats who I am.

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